Transcript: Racial Lifemap Activity

James S. Hart III MSW, LSW

Several years ago, I was inspired to create an exercise for Black-White couples called the Racial Lifemap Activity. The idea was inspired by Dr. David Hodge who discusses the benefits of spiritual lifemaps. A lifemap is a pictorial that is drawn or created with images that details the life events and transitions that illustrate a specific personal journey. 

I implemented the racial lifemap activity in my clinical work with Black-White couples to create a dialogue around race, racism, and discrimination that hopefully increases compassion and decreases defensiveness. 

The racial lifemap activity consists of each spouse constructing a pictorial based on these questions:      

1. What is your earliest memory of becoming racially aware?  

2. Which experiences have shaped your racial awareness and/or identity? 

3. How have you been discriminated against because of your race?  

4. How have you benefitted because of your race?  

5. What did your parents, family, friends, society teach you about your racial identity?  

6. What did your parents, family, friends, society teach you about other racial groups?

Here are two examples of racial lifemaps from a couple I had worked with some time ago who we will call Jack and Diane.

Jack grew up in a predominately white community, attended almost exclusively white public schools. When he gets to college, he develops friendship with a diverse group of classmates but mostly associates with other white students. It’s not until after graduation, in his early twenties that he moves to South Carolina working in an industry that served mostly people of color that he recognizes his implicit bias and ignorance of racial inequalities. He eventually moves back to NJ, meets Diane, and subsequently begins their romantic relationship.

Diane’s racial lifemap, however, is much different than Jack’s.

Diane grew up in a diverse community and remembers being called the n-word by her classmates as early as elementary school. She was denied access to advanced courses in middle school due to racism among the faculty. In High School she was not welcomed by her white peers in the honors courses and was called a sell-out by other students of color. In college she had great diverse friendships, but she still experienced microaggressions from the professors. She eventually moves back to NJ, joins a multicultural church, meets Jack, and their relationship begins.

The racial lifemap allows each spouse to reflect upon the development of their racial identity and how it has shaped their current beliefs, expectations, and behaviors. It allows spouses to compare their sense of racial awareness with their partners, creating the space for understanding, learning, and support. Before we dismiss or invalidate our spouse’s experience, we need to consider how their lived experience has been different than ours, and before we claim they are being overly sensitive perhaps their responses are developmentally understandable.

Now, couples can choose to do this activity on their own or can incorporate it within their marital therapy sessions. 

You can find a printable PDF explaining the racial lifemap activity on this page. I hope this video has been helpful and that your relationship will be strengthened by participating in this activity. Thanks for watching.