Spirituality and Black-White Couples

James S. Hart III MSW, LSW 

As a marriage therapist and pastor, I have witnessed christian Black-White couples use spirituality to address their marital concerns and the racism and discrimination encountered in the community.

 During the doctorate in social work program at Rutgers University, I conducted a qualitative research study to explore how christian Black-White married couples used spirituality to mitigate the stressors of their interracial relationship.

 The data suggested that their common stressors were parental disapproval, racism, discrimination, and raising bi-racial children. They also used theological beliefs and spiritual practices to address these stressors. 

Their theological beliefs were the following:

1. God had ordained their marriage. 

They believed that God was instrumental in bringing them together so if others disapproved of their relationship, it didn’t matter because they had God’s approval.

 2. Racism is the result of sin. 

They believed that racism and discrimination are result of sin. Those who were discriminatory against them were doing so because of sin and those individuals needed repentance.

3. Since God had forgiven them of their sins, they were to forgive others.

They believed their sins were forgiven upon their acceptance of Christ as their savior. Since God had forgiven them of their sins, they were to extend forgiveness to those who were racist or discriminatory. 

4. They identified as christians first and in their race second.

These couples identified first as christians, who happened to be Black and White. Their primary identity was in their faith in Jesus Christ not in their race.

Their spiritual practices were the following:

1. Using Prayer

They prayed for strength, wisdom, and grace as they navigated the challenges of being an interracial couple. They prayed for their family, friends, and community, particularly those who didn’t accept their relationship.

2. Applying Love

They were intentional about demonstrating love to everyone, particularly those who didn’t approval of their marriage. Their love could be expressed through patience, kindness, mercy, or forgiveness.

 3. Using Confrontation

If someone had been offensive, they would go that person privately to address the matter. If things didn’t change, they brought another person with them to solve the issue. If that failed, they solicited help from their church family. If the person remained offensive, they would no longer maintain a relationship with that individual.

From my clinical and research experience, spirituality appears to be beneficial to Black-White couples as they address the stressors that threaten their marital union.